Tan Lines & Tattoos

Since my last post I have been a busy little bride to bee!  The services for my grandfather were last week and it was so wonderful to be able to spend that time with my family.  Even though the circumstances were not what any of us wished, it was still nice to come together and celebrate a loved one’s life. 

Wedding planning to date is on a roll – working out the contract with the venue; waiting on quotes for catering, bartender, cake and rentals; found a photographer and started my wedding website!

On Saturday Fletch & I met with an eco-friendly florist in the morning and we liked her a lot.  Then in the afternoon, my fantastic maid of honor and I went on a six mile hike while we chatted about the wedding the whole time.  Exercise, good company and wedding planning all wrapped up into one – can’t beat that! 

For the hike I decided to wear my strapless bathing suit top, even though I looked a little “hoochie” in it – it’s not exactly what I’d normally wear out on a hike.  The reason being that later this summer I will be in a wedding where I will be donning a strapless evening gown.  Up to this point I have tan lines that reflect tank tops and my racing swim suit, complete with a big “X” on my back!  These tan lines would not really suit my overall bridesmaid look.  Therefore, I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to even out my tan lines by looking like a “hoochie” for the hike.  This got me to thinking about weddings, wedding photographs, tan lines and tattoos.

In my experience, weddings usually have a formal air to them, hence, tuxedos/suits, and evening gowns/dresses.  In that case, it makes sense to me that if you are spending money on a dress, possibly shoes, getting your nails, hair and make-up done, that you would also want to make sure that your tan lines match the outfit you are going to wear, right?  Along the same lines (get it?!), weddings are highly photographed events, not only does the couple usually hire a professional photographer, or two, most of the guests bring cameras as well.  So, why then are there still bridesmaids out there who do not take this into consideration?  Hence the picture below:

A couple thoughts about the tan lined bridesmaid: 1) her lines are distracting to the overall look of the picture, 2) her lines make it look like part of her dress is missing, 3) by the looks of this wedding party, it appears that she picked out her own dress 4) not sure if the photographer didn’t know how to take care of the problem with Photoshop, but even if they did, every picture that the tan lined bridesmaid was in would need to be touched up pretty significantly (read time consuming and possibly an extra expense for the person paying for the photographs)

Some ideas on preventing tan lines: 1) sunscreen, 2) wearing outfits that are the same silhouette as the bridesmaids dress, 3) cover up with a big shirt or a big hat, 4) carry a parasol

Some ideas on fixing tan lines: 1) try to even it out on your own (may be risky as in you could have multiple lines), 2) use make-up, bronzer or self-tanner to cover, 3) get a professional spray tan or airbrush treatment

What do you readers think?

Also in thinking of the overall look of our wedding and what kinds of photography styles we like, the topic of tattoos came up.  Neither Fletch nor I have tattoos, but we are part of the minority.  Out of our ten person bridal party (five bridesmaids and five groomsmen) I think only two do not have a tattoo (but for all I know they may have one hidden somewhere!).  For the groomsmen it probably won’t be an issue since they will most likely be wearing suits of some kind.  For the bridesmaids though there will definitely be more opportunities for skin to show (since I’m not into long sleeved dresses), and could lead to some visible tattoo action.  I’m not saying that this is a good or a bad thing, more that it’s something that I’ve noticed in wedding photos and that inevitably will play a part in my wedding day and photographs.  Just like in the picture above; I see six tattoos, including one on the bride.  This bride did not want all of her bridesmaids dressed exactly the same or with the same hairstyle or dresses or even color of dress.  The only thing I see that is the same on all of the bridesmaids is their shoes.  I’m not sure exactly what style I want for my bridal party yet, but I know that I do want them each to stand out as an individual and part of what makes someone who they are is what they choose to put on their body.  While I do not intend on asking my bridesmaids to cover up any visible tattoos, I have seen some pretty crazy requests from brides on TV and on wedding boards doing just that (not just about tattoos, but diets, hair color and other ways of being strict and controlling).  I want my bridesmaids to be comfortable, to be themselves and to dance the night away.  I picked each of my girls for a reason, because they are all important, special women to me and I want their individual beauty to shine through.  I want to look and feel spectacularly beautiful on my wedding day.  I also want the best pictures possible, after all, why would I spend so much time, energy and money on an event and on a photographer if I didn’t care about what the photos would look like? 

Would love to hear some opinions and thoughts, brides or bridesmaid perspectives, how you would handle things like this, experiences, etc.

Future Mrs. Fletcher

Till Death Do Us Part

I stood by as my Grandfather looked up from his hospital bed, gazed into my Grandmother’s eyes and told her that she needed to be strong, that she would go on and live a happy life and that he loved her very much. He thanked her for everything that she had done for him and for the great life that they had shared together. The next day he passed away. Next month would have been their 49th wedding anniversary.

Fletch’s Grandfather passed almost a year ago. His grandparents had been married for 64 years. His Grandmother passed away in February. We have lost three of our grandparents in the last year. It saddens us that they will not be able to come to our wedding or hold our future children. We know that they are with us in spirit and we are thankful for the time that we got to spend with each of them.

In planning our wedding, we are starting to think about the vows we will take, what we want to say to each other and the deeper meaning of what it means for us to be married. The traditional vow of “Till death do us part” has particular significance to us at this time. Sometimes I have nightmares of Fletch dying and I wake up in a cold sweat and have anxious thoughts and feelings about what my life would be like without him in it. One of my deepest desires is to live a long, full and prosperous life with those that I love most being by my side. Our grandparents were fortunate in this way. May we follow in their footsteps.

In thinking of the actual wedding ceremony and vows to be taken I think of promises to be made to one another. Promises of a life of love, trust, respect, caring, growing, nurturing, understanding and forgiving. Forgiving others, including your spouse, but also in forgiving yourself. Life is not about perfection, but striving to live the best life possible through your promises to those who mean the most to you.

If you have lost a loved one and either are married or are planning to be married, how did you or are you planning to honor them on your special day? We would love any suggestions or thoughts on this.

I hope that when my time comes, whether it’s tomorrow or 64 years from now, that I will look back on my relationship and marriage to Fletch and be as thankful, loving, forgiving and gracious as our grandparents were to each other.

Future Mrs. Fletcher

Lord of the Rings

Today I got to have two phone dates, first with one of my bridesmaids and oldest childhood friend, who lives in Colorado and also my sister, who lives in Texas!  Mind you, both of these women live far away and unfortunately, we do not get to see each other as often as we would like.  However, it’s days like today when even a short call helps me remember why they are so important to me.  Even when the calls, letters and texts are infrequent (we are all busy folks), it’s as if no time at all has passed and we can catch up, without missing a beat.

When I called my sister I had (unbeknownst to her) ulterior motives than just the typical what’s new conversation.  I was hoping that she would be as excited as I was, when I asked her if her son, my nephew, would be the ring bearer in our wedding!  I wasn’t disappointed!  It’s so much fun to be able to surround ourselves with our loved ones for our special day.  Even though it sometimes seems like our wedding date is (too) far away, it brings such joy and what seems like eager anticipation of our wedding day by our family and friends that it has a snowball effect of excitement that just continues to builds for us.  

And so now we have a little Lord of the Rings to add to our wedding party.  I can’t wait to dress him up in something precious and see his cute little smiling face on our wedding day!  

Future Mrs. Fletcher

The “I Do To-Do List”

Today when I logged onto theknot.com it cheerfully tells me that I have 177 “to-dos” before my wedding.  I don’t know about you, but this number is crazy overwhelming to me!  Thankfully I have about 15 months before my wedding, so I don’t need to fret!  In reality I know I will have more “I Do To-Do’s” than that, but I do not find it helpful that they announce it this way, as if I have to complete it all now or something.

Another thing I find disconcerting is when theknot.com tells me that I should start looking for my dress (“it’s never too early!” they say), and then has the task of booking your reception site several rows down and booking your ceremony site a couple rows farther down.  Just goes to show how backwards the wedding industry can be and how they want you to spend your money.  Along this vein, if you are looking for budget ideas and you come across this website: budget.weddings.com, just beware that it is owned and operated by theknot.com.  I find that I have a sort of love hate relationship with mainstream wedding websites and magazines.  Love the inspiration, hate that the expectation is that it’s normal to spend the average of almost $30,000 on one day.  Granted, it’s a very special day, but come on – I can think of lots to do with that kind of dough!

For now, I'm just going to Keep Calm and Get My Wedding On!

Future Mrs. Fletcher

Introduction

Hi everyone!

I am the Future Mrs. Fletcher and am engaged to "Fletch".  We just celebrated our 7 year anniversary in April while in London (here we are on the Underground). 

Fletch proposed to me very unexpectedly in September 2011 and, of course, I said yes!  We are both extremely excited to be getting married!  Sometimes we think of eloping (gasps can be heard from our parents as we think this!), but we really want to celebrate with those nearest and dearest to us, so planning a blow out wedding it is.

Since our engagement there have been some really great things, like our AWESOME engagement party, (which I'll probably talk more about later), Fletch introducing me as his fiancee and thinking about the rest of our lives together!  There have also been some disappointments and not so great wedding planning related experiences.  Here are some examples: There are millions of choices for venues and vendors in the Bay Area (sounds like a good thing, but really, it just makes it that much harder.  Especially for someone like me - read type A, who wants to see every option, then decide).  It's VERY easy to spend loads of money on a wedding without even really thinking about it (great if you have loads to spend or want to).  The venue that we originally liked (was indoor and had great prices), tripled their prices and wouldn't give us the new info for a month - yikes!  After that it was difficult to find an indoor venue that we liked (that was not a hotel) for our original date in February (picked because it was in the off season and supposed to be cheaper).  Essentially, I started planning the wedding right after we got engaged with one vision in mind and when that fell through we totally changed things up.  Now we are on track to plan the wedding that we want, the wedding that will make us happy and that will celebrate the beginning of our new life together as husband and wife!  I couldn't be happier!

So, in a nutshell, I am starting this blog for a few reasons 1) so that I don't overwhelm my fiance, friends & family by calling, emailing, talking their ears off about the wedding 2) to share some ideas, thoughts and inspirations and 3) because I can!

Hope you enjoy the ride!

Future Mrs. Fletcher